Smart Women dating Ghetto Youths

My friends chide me over and over again... " why you like those types is beyond me?" 

I am a smart girl who makes foolish relationship choices. You might not know how much bravado it took me to write this article but my emotions are awok from being in an unhealthy relationship for the last three months. 

Being a child of the Ghetto, having a little education, men from my area often regard me with contempt simply because they say " we big brain girls think we better than them"  that was never the case, I for one simply did not want to end up in the situations of so many of my peers. Young women with several fatherless children bouncing around from man to man was nothing worth aspiring to. I very much connote ghetto youth with recklessness and irresponsiblility.  I steer clear of them as much as I possibly can. I could not risk having a child that a man did not want. I wanted stability, reliance and accountability and young men from my district offered me none. 

But from time to time, a ghetto youth  often attractive, " a little cleaner than the rest" and smarter will come the way of us educated sisters and possibly sweep us off our feet with his rarity. 

We in turn will try and make it work. Investing time and resources in the relationship hoping that our goodness will rub off on him and that he can become someone higher than his status. We nurture, encourage, nag and cajole him about and against the harsh conditions of life among the lower class citizenry. We smart women know that being a young man in the ghetto is no small feat trying to keep him out of trouble and motivate him unto the path of righteousness. 

But dating a ghetto youth comes with headache and frustrations. Ghetto youths don't take talk from women. Smart women want to educate and nurture transcendence in their men for the betterment of the future family structure. But ghetto youths are accustom to dating certain women who never question their integrity, whose notions of relationships are largely superficial and who accept any crap they dish out. A smart woman and a ghetto youth is a disaster waiting to happen. 

Encourage collective success and not competition among our children

People think about life mainly from a self perspective but I see life for what it is collectively.  Like when we were children and our parents encouraged our individual success above all else, ingraining a notion that our achievements were about conquest and hierarchy instead of liberation and  societal advancement. 

I once told a mother that it would be disadvantageous to my daughter to encourage her to be the best and wish failures upon my neighbour's child. You see even if my daughter becomes a doctor, who would teach her children? Who

Would handle her money and finances? Who would protect her when she sleeps? Who would negotiate with other countries to secure products that she cannot produce locally? Who is gonna put out the fire in case your child's house burns down? If my child becomes a doctor and yours become a gun man then my child will have to build fortresses to keep your child out! Life is fairly interconnected. 

Encourage collective success among our children and not competition because your child will need other professionals along with themselves to create our future societies. They cannot do it on their own. We know what happens when we have a country of " dunces". Do not encourage this notion. Encourage our children to study in groups and build success among their peers so that we can have a better Jamaica. 

_Crystal Evans 

Children of the Jamaican Working Glass 

©Crystal Evans Book Club 

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Family structure contributing to the cycle of poverty in Jamaica

People say time hard yet I see Jamaicans wearing expensive clothes and hairstyles. I cannot understand how you can afford to maintain a particular appearance and yet your children cannot go to school nor can you provide their nutritional needs. 

I am of the opinion that we need to establish a statutes that precludes women of a certain financial background from having a certain amount of children. This might sound prejudicial or even classist but it is consistently factual that our lawless young men are often from a background of a struggling single mother with too many children. 

It simply means that the mother who fails to adequately provide for her children will often lead children to find creative and illegal ways of fending for themselves when they are old enough to understand their economical situations. Look at it this way. The woman who lives in the one room house with the five children has a higher percentage rate of. Inadvertently contributing to the crime rate in the next ten years. 

Her son will become ashamed of the one room house that he lives in by time he attends high school. He will try to hustle to change or improve his mother's and siblings financial status. This is one of the reasons why we have so many teenage scammers. The teenage boy will most likely stop going to school either because he cannot afford it or his new found "job" is providing so much money that school now seems obsolete. 

This "job" that he gets will in most circumstances be illegal. His mother might it may not be cognizant of where he is getting money from to feed their family. Chances are he will end up in jail or in the morgue by way of his own circles or police officers. This mother might lose several sons to criminality and lawlessness because every younger son will attempt to either improve or undone what the eldest died for. These boys have a misconception about masculinity. They believe that their manhood is defined by how dangerous they appear to society. 

There is a flip side to story. The single mother's daughters will leave home early to live or sleep with an older man who can assist in financing her eduction. The mother will allow this because she cannot afford to supplement the needs of the teenage daughter including clothes and school money. If the teenage daughter is not smart or the man involved does not love her. She will get pregnant and bring another mouth to feed into her mother's house to feed.

The cycle of poverty continues threefolds and spans generation until someone decides to put and end to it and start another family history. 

The cycle is perpetuated by the teenage daughters children who might end up like herself or her brothers. Young men who die from a life of criminality often leave children behind who has mothers similar to their own mothers. We have a family with career criminals and matriarchal family structure that is transgenerational in Jamaica. 

My beef with women in Jamaica that have too many children or who do not pay specially attentions to the needs of their children is that they are creating menaces to society without even knowing it. I know our women can do better because I know women with several children who made sacrifices to ensure that their children become good adults and have better futures than they did. 

People Mistakes and some

Of us have to make them several times before we understand  fully understand the scope of our choices. You have no choice in the consequences of your actions but you must remained committed to improving your life and that of your children. 

Be careful what you do with your child. What you teach him and the type of behaviors that you encouraged. The rest of the world will have the live with that person that you created. If he becomes a liability to his society the you will surely bury him. 

What are we teaching our babies?

A little boy startled me yesterday from behind a park truck, he apparently hid me and came out from behind the truck in a "stick up situation" with a paper gun in his hands. 

I scold him. I said to him rather angrily " is this what you parents sending you to school to learn to ambush people with gun?". "Don't worry yourself. The police them out deh Fi you. You think Gun business is a fun business. It is no joke business. It is a death without justice business"

I was miffed by the fact that this three year old understood the concept of hiding and sticking up people with a gun. 

What was most revealing was that he left his home a few blocks away and was alone on the road by himself. 

I only hope his creative imagination can be transmitted into something more productive so that his mother won't have to bury him later. 

Legalizing procreation in Jamaica

We are the World, We are the Future!!!

I once read a book that asserts that If there was a law that forbade people who were not financially able from starting a family then we would have a better society. 

The author may have some truths in his claims because the dominant factor in the social maladies affecting Jamaica ties to people who were born in poverty. Most if not all criminals have similar backgrounds, single parent mother with several other smaller children, absentee father and high school drop out. It is a fact that most felons have similar familial and social backgrounds. It means that crime is endemic to lower socio economic groups. 

The author claims that basic child rights would be secured and the standard of living improved  because we could not procreate without first improving our economical standards. 

We would not have great poor masses as the poverty lines would be marginalized and therefore the poor population contained. If poverty is reduced then criminality is easier controlled and tracked in its small pocket groups. Reducing the poor population also minimizes our long term exposure to criminality. 

The author endorses the need for government to pass a legislature that forbade persons who are not financially capable from having children or too much for that manner. Some might say this is unnecessary because we have a free system of healthcare and access  to contraception. 

It is indicative that unwanted pregnancies and derelict women having children may be attributable to deeper social problems than merely sanctioning reproduction. 

If basic financial stability is made a legal requirement before one can start a family the author purports that this prerequisites  would preclude children from being born into poverty, without proper nutrition l, shelter and access to education and health care which would in turn create a stable environment. 

Most young people I know who choose a life of debauchery have backgrounds tied to poverty and mothers who bred too many children. A young man growing up in a family setting where mother has too many children will become embarrassed by the time he is a teenager of the way he lives. His mother might encourage him due to his academical failures in school to seek a trade or work. She might be unable to continue his education and he begins to seek subsistence elsewhere. 

If he chooses a life of crime. He will become a scammer, a robber or a lackey for some criminal network. He can get money to give to his mother to take care of his siblings and improve her economical standings by expanding her house. The mother might or might not be privy to what he does for a living. 

A female in a similar family settings may begin sexual relations with older men in order to continue her education or contribute to the maintenance of the household. Some mothers intentionally push their daughters into these situations. In many cases, you have a woman with daughters, who are all high school dropouts and teenage mothers. The mother often hopes the daughter manages to "use her head" and continue her education, some do but many become just like their mothers. 

Many homes have mothers and their daughters having babies in the same year. Grandmothers pregnant with several small children and grand children in what may be referred to as a single family unit house. 

This means that the cycle of poverty would stem to several generations before it can be eradicated. We know of families coming from stuffings in the board structure to keep prying eyes out or who "you could take tick juck them out" whose children ended up " passing the worst". 

But we know that those who have managed to get out of poverty are in most cases born smart and others superbly talented. We do have stories of people without aptitude or flair who simply never gave up or give in. 

Effecting social change fosters a better society and that is imperative...if not remedial. We cannot move into the future positively. If we hope to have a better world, we need social reformation. We will just be a land of savages with technology if we do not improve our nation's value system. 

"Excerpt from Jamaican Acute-GHetto-Itis"

The dream killers in Jamaica

I remember when I was this age and life was not sweet but I had high hopes for the future. My peers and I thought we were going to change the world. We wanted desperately to get out of this place and see the world. Sometimes I wonder where and when or even how did I veer off that course. 

My Christian friends tell me that they believe in purpose of faith. The truth is I've never asked god for anything that he has never given to me. Whatsoever I envision he often brings to pass and reminds that he will never let the righteous go hungry or be on the streets begging bread. 

I believe our children lose their enthusiasm overtime because of lack of affirmation. Jamaicans believe in boasting about their children's accomplishment but rarely caters to the self esteem development of their off springs. They like to give credit "behind back" . 

The child who did well in kindergarten but fell off in high school got beaten down by life. The primary school scholar that topped the class and never did well in school got distracted by life. The high schooler who pass all subjects but never goes to college or do well at the tertiary level was mauled over by life and adulthood. Children need affirmation at all areas of their lives. 

So I take time out to encourage young people. I remind them that despite everything happening around them that they should dream as if they will live through an eternity. 

I remind them to be committed to improving our society and that they can reinforce good values by just being kind to people. 

I say hi to the Janitor lady cleaning the floors at the building not because its mandatory but because I am compelled to see the good in others. I do not laugh at cane cutters because I am supportive of industrialism in whatever spectrum it may be. I congratulate the men who walk on the road in dirty building clothes because I am happy that they are working and not loitering on the road side, contriving mischief. Affirmation is very integral to the advancement of our society. 

We must not kill the dreams of our children. We must teach every child how to soar like eagles. We must remained dedicated to providing support to the younger generations so that we can retire  in serenity and confidence because we did our youth generations well and they in turn created a better society. 

Teach your children to be industrious don't spoil them!

This illustrious man died leaving six children that in my estimation don't " make one". 

Imagine you build your business from the ground up and then to have the business decline during illness then eventually shut down when you die because you spent too much time spiking your children than grooming them into the business. 

I can't understand how some children woul not be interested in their Parents family business that put food on their table and money in their pockets. It is beyond me. 

 Have met many of these type, who are living on nothing but the hype of their dead parents legacy and looking for someone to supplement their lifestyle. 

I admire Adam STewart for taking over his fathers business. How many parents can rely on their children to maintain their business empires. Many times the business is run by strangers and children relax and collect money monthly. People are worried with this free mentality that children Embrace today, taking for granted what their parents provide for them. 

Imagine having a lost legacy! 

Building a better Tommorrow

I was just speaking to a group of students who will be sitting their CXC exams come next June. I explained to them that what you do should contribute to the advancement of your progeny. 

I contend " just imagine if our parents had bought more lands, built a refinery, bought Negril when it was just a swamped and no one cared about it. What if our parents had made better choices we would not have to struggle so much in the present" 

We create the future by what we do now. The men and women who contrived our civilization have long past on but we are benefiting from their hard work. We should strive to improve this civilization, our societies and our world so that our children can have a better Tommorrow. 

 

You know I admire my paternal grandmother because she's a woman who made my life comfortable as a child. I grew up having tv at my house, electricity, my sisters and I had our own room, we had two gas stove and inside kitchen. My grandmother tells her story so many times about where she's coming from and how the outside kitchen ( dirt bottom) is where she lived with my dad and his siblings and look where she is now. It didn't mean much to me then but now that I am an adult I understand the virtues that she was telling my sisters and I as children. LOL! She also added that "men a failure!"

I could never be comfortable living a certain way because I was not raised exposed to particular values. I do not think I am better than people I was simply raised differently to appreciate other components of culture, life and society. 

It is only natural that I will want to have the best things in my life and provide for my child the way my parents provided for me. My father emphasized the importance of education. He ensured we went to school every day. We had cable tv and all the amenities albeit we were granted limited access. 

My life gold now is to provide for my children so that they will have it easier providing for their children.  I want to be able to supersede what my parents gave me. I have to protect this empire because it belongs to my kinship. We should strive for success not because we want it for ourselves but because we understand that even when we pass away. Our children will inherit our world because we live on through our off springs. 

We must secure the future for our children and the advancement of our race. Progress is never achieved in a day .Tomorrow people should thanks us for what we did in the past. 

 We will be eternally grateful to the founding fathers for this technology that affords me this opportunity to share my perspectives. 

 

Peace for the Future of Our Children

We need to take back our world for our children. Why are good people lying around in fear while wickedness and debauchery consumes our land? You are just as guilty as the perpetrators when you stand aside and witness cruelty and fear to condemn it. Remember no one will be there to cry mercy for you. Life has a way  of always paying us back for our misdeeds. 

I do not believe in violence, I am an advocate of peace. I like my ancestors before me who fought for my redemption will honor the sacrifices that they made so that I can have the life that I have now. 

It is said that only lessons paid in blood are remembered and validated. What lessons are we teaching these children when we murder the innocent babies? 

Can someone explain to me what did this child do to deserve to have her life curtailed in such a violent manner. 

I often wonder if people who do these things do not have families or children. Within their own kind. 

Why would any sane person think it is fair or even ok to kill this child? 

It appears that the more modernized our world become, the more bestial we become as a people. Apparently that's we get when we mix animalism with technology and awareness, we get savagery. 

I look at this child deprived of the right to become an adult, to realize her dreams, get married and have children of her own. Yet her murderers and their families will no doubt live to fruition. 

We are too busy on this our world concentrating on the wrong things. We should be flooding our Cable Television with advertisements denouncing violence against our children but instead our broadcast are filled with Asinine Information.

What really happens when we die?

My latest encounter with death has opened my eyes to question what really happens when we lose consciousness. MY friend is death and I doubt that I will ever see him or encounter him in this lifetime again.

My grandmother is of the opinion that when we die that our souls remain in a state of limbo until the trumpet sounds on judgement day and we are called upon by god to admonish our many sins in this world.

I do not know what happens when I fall asleep. I am unconscious for a few hours and then I wake up fully conscious of who I am because my brain during this deep sleep phase is still oxygenated. I often think to myself that dying must me much like that. Losing consciousness permanent. I had a near death experience when I haemorrhaged after giving birth to my daughter and fainted. I do not even remember fainting. All I remembered was the voices of the doctors and nurses trying to save my life as I lost litres of blood. I kept thinking about the baby that I did not see and my child's father who was waiting patiently outside for me.



I kept slipping in and out of consciousness and I did not feel the stitches the doctor gave me for forth degree tears I had that the nurse miraculously missed. These lacerations during childbirth had cost me to loose too much blood rendering me unconscious, I did not remember much of what happened that afternoon and that night.


I Know that people from time to time question their existence and wonder what it is going to be like when you die. I believe it when scientist say that energy is not lost but merely transpose from one object or system to another. I was thinking about when I boil water and it evaporates. The water does not disappear, it becomes a gas and then it cools, condenses and falls back as rain. Life within itself is a big cycle.

Does this mean that I support reincarnation. If energy is not then what does that say about the energy that makes me who I am. The very elements of my personality and what composites me as a person. Where does that go when I die?
The information that we have on the incorporeal is purely supposition and conjectures formulated on reason and scientific extrapolations. No one who has died has ever come back to tell us what death feels like and the afterlife.
But this perception might be faulty because how can we account for psychic connections with our love ones in the afterlife or messages being send to us from our love ones who died.

Sometimes I look at my daughter and wondered where she got her personality. I see parts of her dad and her me in her personality but she has certain proclivities that I do not see in her father and I that makes me confident that those are inherent aspects of her "soul" personality.

My brain goes on these "meds" and thousands of thoughts and perceptions are conjured up during these meditation sessions that often leave me more befuddled about the missing parts of our existence.


Experts claim that consciousness grows and it shrinks but it never dies. Even so what really is death? Does the spirit leave the corporeal body because it is not longer able to hold it. Take for instance someone gets shot in the head several times yet remains alive but unconscious for over half an hour. Then take large gasps and die. Has the soul given up on the body that cannot contain it any more

Just thought about this on my lunch break...

My Summer: What i am writing on her Personality?

"AS LONG MY DAUGHTER IS HAPPY ME NO CARE BOUT NOTHING"

Our children do nor become what we want them to become but who we are.

My daughter is quite precocious for her age. She has a very short fuse and like most two year olds, she is very defiant. I look at her and wonder what kind of person will she be as an adult. I worry if I will live to see her become an adult or if someone will take her away from me after all the time and resources I put into her development.

I am anxious of how I can manipulate her personality into becoming a human being whose life is valued by many. Not everyone will like her but she should not genuinely loathed by a wide range of individuals because her life actions have been to their detriment.

I prefer to be hated for standing up for what is right because when you fail to decry the injustices happening to others, you are continuing injustice for everyone.

I rather be despised because the standard of my life makes others feel inferior. I concurrently illustrate what one could become if only we would choose to seek enlightment whilst abandoning folly and ignorance.

I do not expect my child to be a sane when after all, I have my own issues and core values that are fraught with contradictions, may stakes and misdemeanors.

I have wished death upon people who have offended or harmed the people I love. It is only human for me to seek to want to preserve my life and protect those that I hold dearly to my heart.
But natures complex workings gives me confidence that life will always balance itself out. Gravity ensures that what goes up always comes back down.

My greatest factor would be teaching my daughter about this omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent god who allow diabolical people to prosper and the good, weak and the poor to be trampled by ignorant narcissists.

I will have to explain evil and good to her. Why some children are more inclined to want to hurt her than others. How does she deal with people who are more predispose to violence

Parenting is not an easy job. But i will try my endeavour best not to create a menace to this society.