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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

One metter shared...

I had to post this from the Jamaicangroupiemet.com Before you SLEEP with him, READ THIS (A lot of our young black women in and out of the DH need to understand their worth) Addicted What’s between your legs he can get anywhere; what’s in your heart is rare, it can only come from you. Value increases when something is considered rare. A real man finds glory in the hunt, the chase, the wait. Every time a man “enters” a woman he gives her his strength, every time a woman “receives a man” she gives him her beauty, her vulnerability. Why give up the greatest and most precious part of yourself to a man who has not proven he is worthy or capable of caring for your heart? Giving our bodies, forsaking our hearts Let me make this very clear, I was FAR from a virgin when I got married. For many years I used sex to numb the rejection of my father and men in my past. I gave my body to men to validate me, to help me prove my worth, to numb the pain and fear of the life I was half-living. And sure the conquest was fun, but the relief was momentary, never lasting. The confidence in my soul was broken, so my body screamed for instant gratification. Then as a “party girl” high on drugs and alcohol, sex just accompanied that lifestyle, but getting drunk and high to open my legs, only proved that my heart’s deepest longings were simply being masked, numbed, hidden. The greatest gift a woman can give a man A few years before I met my husband, I made a decision to be celibate, to find out beyond sex, what did I truly desire? Fortunately when I met my husband he carried this same conviction. This current culture has diminished women into believing we have nothing to offer besides our bodies. How many times have you laid besides a lover after he has released inside of you and felt dulled, disappointed, numb? Don’t you want more? Women scream this false bravado independence “I can do whatever I want!” But whose truth are you living? Are you living out your sexuality like I was; reacting to your wounds, attempting to meet your own needs the only way you know how? Or are you living from the truth of how amazing, cherished and priceless your heart is? Real women know their value Women who know their value, know they are worth more. They have learned what their heart truly needs, and they are not afraid to ask for it. God wired us to be loved, cherished, protected, fought for. Our hearts deepest longing is often times not for sex, but to truly know who we are…we don’t find the answers to the deepest questions in our souls in a man’s bed; we discover them by seeking God’s heart. Many of us never had an earthly father to affirm our beauty our value, but we have a merciful God waiting to lavish upon us a passionate love beyond our wildest dreams. Dare to be honest. Learn how to ask for what you need with your heart and not your body. When you truly see your value as a woman, you will know you are worth the wait, and so will the man who has decided to wait for you…