Excerpt my new novel... Bunna Man

I came first in my class today ... Funny how me can always get anything I put my mind to except getting my men to commit to me. There is always some issue. But I figured it out today while doc gave me an injection to stop the bleeding. I don't require much of men. I settle for nothing and men in turn give me nothing. It's a pattern I've noticed among the men who managed to get close to me. There I was thinking something was wrong with them. It seem something is wrong with me. 

I am what I attract. In my dutty foot slippers and brazen natural looks, I am like an old rusty Benz, a guy gonna say "move the donkey cubby" cause even though my parts maybe expensive I still don't look the part. He will still think his 1999 corolla E110 on chromes rims looks better than my old Benz. 

But even when my body is hollow from the emotional trauma wreaking havoc on my sensibilities, I am still worthy of love. And I will find true love for the prettiest rhinestone will never worth more than the dirtiest diamond in the deepest core of the earth's mantle. 

Crystal Evans 

Copyright © 2015 

Woman Scorned... Women cheating on their men...

I have been holding in a lot of things wanting to say them but refuse to because it's irrelevant. I don't want to jeopardize what we have but I am sensing we have nothing and hence I am trying to save something that does not even exist. Loving you is like trying to catch water using a basket...

You see my life is complicated and because it is complicated I realize that I am nothing but a placeholder to you. I can't make any demands on you because I have my man... Yes you wield this knowledge above my head, it is the central notion that keeps me from demanding a commitment from you. I cannot ask you to be my man because i already have One. I must be a special kind of stupid, putting everything on the line, inconveniencing my life and risking stability, knowing you might never ever really trust me. I am after all a woman who cheats on her man.

And as such you have little respect or sense of loyalty to me. The Indecorous way in which you have treated me these recent days is nothing short of an outright disregard for my feelings. I am tired of it. I don't need this shit. You say your world does not revolve around me but everything in this non-relationship revolves around you. I am constantly at the mercy,beck and call of your mood, desires and inclination. I obviously don't have a say here. You have used my loveless relationship against me and i have used you as an escape from the doldrums of my personal life.

I have been hanging on by a thread. I am letting it go now. May the chips fall where they may. But maybe am silly, I mean i am ready to leave the man i am certain about for the uncertainty and novelty of our non-relationship.

I keep getting pushed back two places for other women, real, old, new or imagined. All because i already have a man. Its not that i do not want to leave him but i need to be sure that you at least want me. I have a penchant for fooling myself into thinking I can ever have something with someone like you and every time I end up disappointed. I need to grow up. I cannot have my cake and eat it too. But i cannot leave my man for a nigga , who am not sure even wants me. Deuces!!!

Chapter : The Cheating woman and her other man
Woman Scorned
Copyright © 2015
Crystal A.Evans

Breaks Ups-Letters to an ex -Woman Scorned Book

He said..."it was all good"
And my blood boiled to a steamy broth.
I spat back...
"If you say so...it's not but I guess it is in your world. I was nothing but a conquest to you. Not trying to make you feel guilty for being yourself. Am not even surprise that you would want " us to be friends" so quickly. I am just hurt that you spend all that time convincing me of what you could not hide. Of what I already knew or my instincts told me. You cannot hide your true intentions, it leaked out with that first phone call you took around me. You tried but it never worth trying hard now. I hope that ideal woman is really what you want... I hope she is an ideal and not just perfect in your eyes.

I don't consider myself lesser or greater than any other woman but what I may lack in looks, I make up for with my smarts and my ambition and for that I think I am a very good catch. Most men know and for the less tuned, my rareness eludes them... It's weird how you never once denied anything i accused you of. I wish the girl you fighting for, don't give up on you, the way you gave up on me.
You see all along I was thinking I was the fool but no they are for after you done talk to them on the phone you come fuck me. You don't hide your true self from me but you pretend with them. There I was thinking I was worst off being the other woman, girlfriend number three, the girl without any label and the one you are never accountable to...but now i realized...(such an epiphany) that you did me a favour by never pretending to be anyone but yourself. I am liberated by your openness and honesty... Those bitches are shackled to the man i met a few months ago. I know the real you and for that they don't have nothing over me. Neither do you.
Hahahahaha.
Have a good evening.


Woman Scorned
Letters to an EX (CHAPTER)
BreakuPS
Woman Scorned

Why women love gun men? -Alkaline-How it feel?

A male friend of mine sent me a link on You-tube for a song by Dance Hall controversial artiste 'Alkaline' titled "How it feel". The raw version of the song conveys that women love to have relationship with bad men, gangsters and thugs. The lyrics states that 'bad man' give women 'one hundred percent security' in a relationship. It is an interesting concept but relationship with alleged bad boys are anything but secured.

How can a woman feel secure in a relationship with a gun man and be safe when she has to be constantly looking over her shoulder for reprisals from people he might have hurt and rogue cops carrying out extrajudicial killings. How can you be secure and build a future with someone who might not be around to see your children grow up? A man in possession of a gun does not mean he will be able to save his woman's life or better yet ward off several intruders.

But the truth is women who date gangsters and bad men are not thinking about death. They are intrigued by their confidence, the contrast between the ruthless social image and the loving partner he often is to them. Some females find the "Alpha Maleness" of alleged gangsters appealing and the thrill associated with their dare-devil lifestyle exciting. Some girls love the drama, the beatings and the powerful feeling of conquest when they get a bad boy who is "mean a road" but "loving" to commit to them. After all bad boys do not have heart and it takes a strong woman to "calm them down when them a rage". Some ladies say guns are an aphrodisiac and are aroused by a man with a firearm, legal or illegal.

Girlfriends, wives and baby mothers of bad men know they play a dangerous game of karma. A few cases of women and children murdered with their bad boy father brings to the fore the grim reality of these unions. Pregnant women killed with alleged gangster baby father, children of alleged murderers abducted and women going to jail as accomplices to crime. The fact that the woman knows means that she is more or less accountable for the wrongs her man perpetrate. Bad boys offer everything except, 'one hundred percent security'.

"You alone understand me devilish ways...You don't know how much man out deh you save when me go fe one a them and you tell me behave...me no bother want fe dead and me no bother want fe go a jail"

Bad boys create recurring generations of career criminals. Mi granny always say be careful who you have children with, Guinep bring Guinep not Grape. Children sometimes suffer ill fated lives brought on by karmic consequences of what their fathers actions.

Bad Boys are a fetish for many women brought on supposedly by the cinematic and literature hero portrayal of gunslingers. Different strokes for different folks and women have been known to have relationships with serial killers and convicted murderers. Gangsters need love too and their women will tell you that not because he has a gun, it does not make him a killer.

A badman depending on how damning his reputation is will deter offenders from his family or his home thus providing a sense of security. Society has long called upon girlfriends, wives and baby-mothers to say what they know of their partners in an effort to curb crime and bring perpetrators to conviction. Some experts question the psycho-emotional state of women in these relationships and declare that girls from broken homes and dysfunctional families are more likely to be involved in such unions'.

Do you think badmen give their families and women one hundred percent security?
Share Your Views
Buy Crystal Evans Bestselling Novel
Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZXTX6C)

How I became the Date Doctor-Crystal Evans, Book, Woman Scorned

I always knew what kind of man I wanted. I just was not particularly insightful about the types I didn't like. I knew good looks were important to me, it was all I dreamt of as a child, ten years old, on the cusp of puberty plaiting a straw grass in the middle of the Ball Field. I wanted a light skin boyfriend with curly hair because I did not want any nappy head black baby like myself. My grand aunt drilled the notion in our heads that if a man did not have money, he should at least have colour. Never in my life did it occur to me that black was not a colour. At least not in my granny's vocabulary.

So I spent the first quarter century of my life judging men by how nice looking they were, instead of how nice they were to me. How much better than me they were and how much I needed to improve or change myself to deserve them.

I was not good looking by European or West Indian standard. Boys pinched my high cheekbones and made fun of my "black chiney" looks. I quickly learn to accept that I was not ideal but I never once thought that I was inferior for what I lack in looks, I compensated in smarts. I was extremely intelligent and I learnt to use it to my advantage. I quickly learn how to charm the skin off a snake, even the most elusive player blushed to whipping sounds of my sugar coated phrases and witty tongue. I was safe as long as i did not fall in love, let my guard down and become vulnerable.

So I took tips, read books and psychoanalyze relationships. I was the date doctor, armed and dangerous. I sieved guys out like ''Wheat inna flour'' and still always end up with jerks. Why? Because men who think they were all that are always alphas and I am very much attracted to alpha males.

I compliment them, build their self esteem, help them to see their true value and potential. And in return i believe they used me as some form of target practice. Now that they knew that they could get a girl like me, they wanted someone better. Better by virtue of who they i made them believe they were. Someone higher than themselves.

I was their placeholder, fall back girl and ideal but not perfect girl. I was cheated on, emotionally abused and verbally mistreated. At times I was tempted to tell them exactly what I felt but I could not resort to their pettiness. I thought their behavior was immature, ignorant and distasteful. I was an intelligent woman and I would not resort to their level.

But sometimes my emotions got the best of me and in a fit of anger and/or emotional frustration I told them exactly what I thought of them and how they treated me. Some reacted with indifference, ignoring my messages, packing up and leaving my place or treated me with blatant disregard that I got fed up and left.

Copyright 2014
Crystal A.Evans