Are there any Good Men left in Jamaica

Are there any Good men left in Jamaica?


This is a question that many young Jamaican women who are on the dating scene are asking among themselves. The question is simple “are there any good men left in this world?” the question for some should fundamentally be what designates a good man. For most young women, the response would definitely be a tall, handsome, wealthy charming gentle man who is perceivably emotionally and psychologically stable. For many young women, aesthetics and affluence are premier criteria with other pivotal attributes such as values and ethics relegated to the backburner. This may well be the reason why good men are hard to find. The problem is not that good men are scarce but it is safe to assume that it is what young women perceived as good men. Good men designate the harlequin character with the attendant charm, wealth and power. The reality of the situation is that good men are available but women do not want good men, most young women want great men.
It may well be that women have their priorities mixed up. A psychological report claims that only ten percent of affluent, handsome and successful men are emotionally and psychologically healthy. Many alpha males are narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, anti social and suffer varying degrees of histrionic personality disorder and conterdependent disorder. The barrages of overlapping psychological disorder among alpha males make them the most frustrating men to have a relationship with. Few if any alpha males want to settle down with a female.
Young women are maturing in a time where a person’s worth is determined by their financial status. We live in an era where the pursuit of temporality and wealth is chief ambition even at the cost of our ecosystem, life, morals and value. We live in a society where survival is central and every activity including our choice of career, friends and ultimately our partner is geared at survival and material attainment. With that said we are choosing our partners based on how much they can enhance our chance of surviving a harsh economical situation and not on shared virtues and valued attributes.
On the other hand, most well off Jamaican men assert that due to their financial and economical superiority they are entitled to have intercourse and relationships with as many women as possible. Therefore many alpha males are calculating, deceitful, mendacious and promiscuous. They roam the social scenes for young women, copulating with as many as possible, leaving a trail of broken hearts, disenchanted women and post traumatic disorders behind them. Even if the man is married he is liable to have numerous paramour relations outside of his marriage. This makes fidelity another issue for women. If they are able to snatch the “so-called good man” there are no guarantees that he will remain with her solely since most affluent Jamaican men have several extramarital affairs.
It may be the case that women need to reevaluate what they want from a relationship and in a potential partner. I do understand that having a partner who can contribute, maintain and satisfy the economical and financial needs of the family is imperative as capitalism demands that our choices should be made on the basis of wealth attainment thus survival. A man, who does not work, cannot eat and should not have a wife and children because he will not be able to feed them. Based on this stance women are choosing partners based on his ability to provide for her needs and her offspring.
But it seems that Jamaican women are not choosing men based on his ability to provide for her needs. For many women the idea of a financially stable man is a male with several cars, a house in aspen, a cabin in Hawaii and several Swiss bank accounts. Women have redefined the term of a financially stable man. Financial stable meant catering for the necessities; wealth designates ability to provide excesses and the extras. Many Jamaican women want a wealthy man and not a financially stable male who is diligent ambitious and conscientious. Many women want a partner that is at the pinnacle of success with the consequent lifestyle and perquisites.
I am not saying that women should not desire to be with the most superlative partner but sometimes all that glitters may not be gold. Many Africans will say that if they knew what the gold on their continent would have done to their people and country they would have found a way to destroy it. Sometimes in life it is better to settle for a mere pearl that search for a diamond that may cost one, their life and sanity.
It is best to find someone who is driven by something far more profound than superficiality and materialism. My philosophy is that if I am dating a particular nucleus of men and it is not working out I change my objectives or ideal. Sometimes I need try other categories and maybe you will learn something new about your self and what you definitely need from a relationship. Other times we may need to evaluate our selves.
What kind of vibe are you giving off when you are around your alpha male? Are you scaring men off with your needy, desperate, disposition. Men state that what turns them off alpha females I s that they tend to have confrontational attitudes. Some males claim that they find the narcissism and bigot behavior of successful women nauseous. Others state that alpha females behave as relationship is an accomplishment like the plaques on her office wall. Remember women want connection, men do want connection but prefer relational importance. They like to feel as if they are males in the societal, relational traditional sense.

Ten foolish rhetoric Jamaican Men use to get women into Bed

Nine stupid things Jamaican men say and women fall for it

Welcome to my opinions on Jamaican men. I like to write a pervasive theorem on men in general but today I am going to focus on those in my own backyard. I am being frank when I say that few Jamaican men know how to approach a woman furthermore strike up an intriguing, substantial conversation void of daggering sex and expletives. Many Jamaican men have rules and regulations that a woman has to follow if she does not want to incur “bun” (infidelity). I say Kudos to the Jamaican men who are great conversationalist and from time to time allow women to use their wit instead of their sexuality. Additionally there are very weak and inane lines that many Jamaican men use to get woman to sleep with them and do their biddings.
Here are nine stupidest things Jamaican men say and women fall for it.

It won’t hurt, I promise

Hell no! Many women can remember accounts from older women and more experience peers on the deflowering process. Additionally many times when people tell you an experience will not hurt you: it is generally because they know that an ounce of risk and pain is involved. If a Jamaican man tells you it won’t hurt, do not believe him because you will be running for your panties.
Do it for me

Ladies I am going to be honest, I dated a man once who tried this one on me. He assumed that because I was an unassuming country girl dating the elite guy from the city that I would fall for that mantra. This is the lamest tune a Jamaican man can belt out to encourage a woman to engage in intercourse or one of its variants. And to be honest, many women have fallen for this tune and have done it for him only to discover that you are not that special after all. The special was meant for him: not for you.

You are the first girl


Any woman who has ever dated a Jamaican man has heard an aphorism about ‘she being the first woman he has ever done, love or say something to’. Do not believe a man when he says that. There are exceptions to the rule, where you are definitely a novel experience for him. But be careful, he may simply be playing the special card on you to get his novel yet familiar experience. Additionally, you may be the first girl to fall for that lame line after all.

The withdrawal method

The majority of pregnancies in Jamaica are unwanted pregnancies due to the popular yet unreliable withdrawal method of contraception. If you are going to have sex with a man and he refuses to use a condom then you should pack your things and leave. Some men will lie and tell you that they are withdrawing before ejaculation and spill the juices. Nine months later you have someone, who will remind you of your mistake. Do not be gullible and naive.

He lost his phone and that’s why he couldn’t call

Please! If a Jamaican man is very interested in a woman and he lost his phone. He will find other means of communicating with you. What about his friends and family? Why can’t he borrow their phones? Why doesn’t he make a collect call then? He is lying between his teeth. He just does not want to call or forgot to call. He is lying because he does not want to tell you the truth for fear of confrontation and criticism. Personally if he is unable to take responsibility for something as simple as a phone call imagine what will happen if you tell him that he did not use a condom and you are pregnant.

“I will do It tomorrow”

This is another maxim that Jamaican men make with the most sincere rhetoric but lack of any intention of following through. If a man says he is going to do something or give you something and he keeps procrastinating: chances are he does not want to do it and in many cases will not do it. He will continue to prorogue until you get the hint and relieve him of the duty. If a man keeps deferring a promise or a task, he is less likely to complete the task or comply with your requests.

“I will not go all the way”

Do you believe it when a man tells you that he will not go all the way that he means it? Most males do not have the will power to stop midway. And what’s the difference? Whether it’s halfway or all the way, it is still intercourse with its implications and possibilities. If you do not feel comfortable, do not have intercourse.

“Do it if you love me”

I do not care what a person does in his bedroom. That is his and his partner’s business. But I will not allow any man to bait me to do something that I will be ashamed of or I think it is opprobrium. A man who genuinely loves a woman will not force her to do something that contradicts her beliefs and makes her feel uncomfortable. Fundamentally, the experience is not about pleasing both of you; it is about satisfying his fetish and desires.

“You must do this if you want to keep me”

Ok! Doing it is not sufficient! If you want him to stick around, you will have to fulfill these desires. His highness has some criteria that you have to meet. This is a definitely symptom of an emotionally unavailable man. He may be emotionally unavailable for you and he is giving you monumental tasks to perform in order to receive his love. A woman should do something for a man because she wants to and not as a condition for fidelity and exclusivity. He is using you. It does not matter what you do; you will never be able to please him. It is a form of control and stringing you along simply to inflate his ego (boasting to friends that he is taking you for a fool). Do not allow someone to manipulate you with ultimatums and relationship chores. Get a real man today.

Do you know any other stupid things men say to women to get their way?

Ten things my father should have told me about Jamaican Men

Ten things a woman’s father should have told her about men.

The role that a father plays in the life of his young daughter is very important.

It is not confined to satisfying the financial needs of his offspring but instilling values and morals into the psyche of his daughter.

This involves encouraging the development of a sense of self and awareness when it comes to relationships.

But how many fathers have sat with their daughters and educate her on the psychology of men, women and relationships. If fathers taught their daughters how to respond to men, pros, cons of men and relationships we would have been better in our relations with men.

We would have known how to decipher the wolves from the sheep.


Here are some things I wished my dad had told me about men

1. Men lie to get what they want. I would have been spared quite a few masculine deceptions if my father had told me that men do not always mean what they say. Men will omit information or lie outrageously to convince a woman to be with them and sleep with them.

2. Men will tell a woman what he knows she wants to hear in order to get her into his bed. Men pretend and fake commitment to get sex. A man will feign emotions and act as your ideal mate to have intercourse with you. When he has gotten his prize then the real man unveils himself.

3. A man will have sex with a woman he has no feelings for and without emotional attachment. There goes my preconceived notion that he must be feeling something for me because we are copulating. Wrong! He is simple going through motions and not emotions.

4. When a man meets a woman he is rarely thinking long term, he is merely thinking about having a good time with her. This good time entails sexual intercourse. That means when a man meets you, he is not thinking marriage and children. He is having the most primal desire which is companionship and coitus.

5. Majority of men do not care about a woman’s social status when he is seeking her out. This is confirmed by numerous wealthy men of high socio-financial caliber who marry and have relations with women who are societally deemed below their status. Therefore my PhD does not guarantee that I will get a husband or that men will fall down at my feet and worship me.

6. Men who are concentrating on your financial status and career want a trophy and not an individual. You may think he married you because you are a wonderful person but only to discover that you are his wife because you have a sixe figure income and a career. Most times women do not find out about these unscrupulous men until they have lost their jobs and status and the man abandons her because she is useless to him. Once the sociopath thinks you are no longer meaningful to him, he will leave you.

7. Number seven ties in with number six. I wish my dad had informed me about the prince charming and the frog.
I prayed my father had told me that not all men that glitter are gold.
My dad should have told me that prince charming can mutate into prince harming.
My dad should have edified me of the narcissist, antisocial, sociopaths and the elaborate neurotics.
My father should have told me about crazy, deranged men posing as ideal partners. Many women wished their dads had told them about men who will not only make their lives miserable but take ways their life.

8. Men do not see relationships the way we do. Men do not have the reactions that we have to gestures such as singing a song, writing poetry etc. if a man goes up on a stage and sings for his woman in front of her friends, her eyes are filled with love, appreciation and adulation. If a woman should sing to a man in front of his friends (unexpectedly), he may react with embarrassment, disbelief and downright disapproval. Instead of running to the stage to kiss you, majority of men will slink away to find a hole to bury himself because of the discomfiture he is feeling from your public declaration.

9. You cannot buy a man’s love. It’s the same as a man professing that he will spend money on us to engender a relationship. Love cannot be bought. Do not think that you can buy love. You can buy faux companionship and an artifice of a relationship. Genuine love and deep bonds cannot be fostered by pecuniary influences. True and real relationships based on love will last even during poverty. A relationship based on money will disintegrate if indigence sets in.

10. You cannot force a man to love you. My father and male relatives may love me unconditionally without coercion or question. When it comes to strangers, it is entirely different scenario. Love is fostered by continual moments of interaction between two individuals who realize that they value each other’s company, to want to live together forever (or for a period of time). You cannot force someone to want to be with you. In most cases if you force love, you push that person further away from you.

AND THEN...

hmmmm...
Remember there are exceptions...

Why Jamaican Men Lie

Why Jamaican men lie
Have you ever wondered why men lie? Why males feel the need to constantly misrepresent reality? Men lie outrageously (often to our amusement and annoyance) about simple things that we women would not care about if they told the truth. There are sometimes when we want them to lie about their feeling such as when they are breaking up with us. But in many situations we would rather hear the truth from them than from someone else. No one enjoys being mislead or taken for a fool. There is not one woman alive who loves a man who constantly torts the reality of situations.

Ten reasons why men lie:
1. They cannot afford to tell the truth because they are ashamed of the reality of their situation. But if a man lies about his situation, it does not change the reality of the situation. The woman will eventually find out he is a tall taler.

2. They are indifferent to your feelings and could not care less if you discover they were lying. These are the connoisseur of mendacity. Such atrocious characters should be avoided at all cost.

3. They have done it numerous times and gotten away with it. They know you will take them back because you are very forgiving. Every male knows what his irritating quality is and he is going to find a woman that he knows will tolerate his lies if he is a liar.

4. Some men can’t help but lie. It is as if it is within their genetic makeup. They tell a lie as easily as you and I breathe without hesitation or compunctions. When it is discovered that they have been lying. Most will shrug off the situation and carry on as if nothing happened. Those are what my mother calls spawn of Satan.


5. Some claim that they lie because they do not want to hurt the females feeling. The man may lie because he is afraid the truth will hurt you and damage the relationship. That is what they call a white lie because it does more good than harm. Until you find out of course!

6. Some men lie to avoid responsibilities. This is the man who lies about being the father of your child or the one who lies about why he did not call you last night. He does not want to be accountable for his actions.


7. Jamaican men underestimate women’s abilities and assume that you will never find out that he was lying. Most men think women are dumb when it comes to deciphering a knave from a gentleman. What most men do not know is that we know they are lying most times but are afraid to admit the truth to ourselves because of how much it hurts. We do not want to drive a wedge between our lout and us; therefore we do not question your flimsy excuses and statements because we do not want an argument. We do not want a rift in the relationship. We want you to feel comfortable and most Jamaican women do not want to be accused of nagging him. So we pretend it’s all nice in paradise.

8. He is insecure. A man who lies about his social or financial status is a clear indication that he has self esteem problems. He has not accepted himself and will have a hard time accepting you.

9. He has something to hide. A man, who lies about his real name or his past, has something to hide. Be wary of him. You may be having a relationship with a wanted murderer and do not know it. Once you suspect he is lying, you need to get out of that relationship now.

10. He is afraid of consequences. Most men like to do their dirty deeds and get away with it. This is the primary reason why men lie because they are afraid of the repercussions. Men hate confrontations with their mates and will try to avoid it at all cost. Lying is the easiest way out. Others will avoid you until they think you have gotten over their misdemeanor then they resurface again.

Are Jamaican Men Insecure

Are Jamaican men insecure?

I was browsing online for some inspirations to this topic before I wrote it. I came across many yahoo and wiki questions on the self assurance, confidence and esteem of Jamaican men. I decided that I will look at the factors behind the insecure and jealous nature of some Jamaican men.
Jamaican men were socialized to believe that when his spouse is dedicated and faithful to him that it is a sign of genuine masculine maturity (in my native tongue “him a de man a yard”). But this is simply one side to the equation as many boys are inculcated to believe largely by social inference that a man’s personality and character principles are not sufficient to get a woman furthermore maintain a relationship. The boys are taught that they need money in order to get a woman. They are indoctrinated to believe that without pecuniary influences a woman will not be interested in them. Most men who are financially well off continue to cement this ideology based on the numerous females that they copulate with and have relations with as oppose to their less financially viable lower class counterparts. Men who have money have a lot of girls while the poor man has a one woman or when he gets a girl. Some less wealthy men have to empty their pockets for sometimes a single night of sexual intercourse with a woman. Young men are encouraged to pursue wealth, materialism and superiority so that women will flock them. Women are encouraged investing in their images to get a man while boys are thought to invest in their abilities and hustle to get a woman.
Women also contribute to this notion. Young girls are taught that a man’s value is determined by the depth of his pocket and his material possession. Women often insult men by insinuating or blatantly telling them that they have fallen short on satisfying the financial needs of the family or union. Young women who chose partners that are less than ideal often face opposition from family members and outright disapproval from society for giving her body to a broke “worthless boy”. Women are very intolerant of unfavorable behavior from less than ideal partners but will stand for abuse and misconducts from wealthy men.
Majority of Jamaican males are semi-literate and hold skilled jobs. A great number of Jamaican men are not very intelligent. The lack of education and access to jobs that will greatly improve their financial status stymie social and economical advancement for most young men and buttress insecure feelings about their worth and place in society. The presence of more wealthy men who are capable of snatching their women away is a great fear for many Jamaican men since many of them lack the social and financial resources that society deems makes them an ideal partner.
These conflicting and competitive factors are the reasons behind the perceived jealous and insecure nature of Jamaican men. This insecurity of Jamaican black men also stems from socio historical factors. During the days of slavery, black women were used and sexually exploited by free mulattos and white men because they had power and money. Many black slaves were wary of involvement with fellow female slaves for fear of losing her to white man. The story of lover’s leap in Jamaica is a prime example of this phenomenon. If a white man discovers that a girl he likes is involved with a fellow male slave, the relationship will be terminated by killing the slave, separating the union by selling the male slave or threats of heinous punishment.
In many cases when a young woman leaves a young man in Jamaica it is often due to finding a man that can offer a better financial support. Jamaican men have very fragile egos especially males from the lower socio-economical class. Many well off men also have self esteem problems as they use arrogance and narcissism to mask their sexual and personal self perceived inadequacies. This is the main factor behind their insecurity and jealousy. Sexual underperformance is a major fear for most Jamaican men.
Jamaican men are jealous because they are afraid of losing their women who they see as extensions of themselves. Once a woman has a relationship with a man they are viewed as one within the society, the wife becomes an extension of the husband. Jamaican men fear infidelity because it would be an indication that they are having relational problems. His image and masculinity will be questioned by the society. His friends might think he has sexual or financial inadequacies and therefore that is why his woman cheated on him.
Jamaican men exudes bout of rage and jealousy as a means of manipulating and controlling their spouse. The female is cowered into submission. Some Jamaican men used threats and violence to manipulate the woman into believing she cannot leave him or cheat on him. When a woman cheats on her man, she is telling the world that he does not have any control over her. She has destroyed the ideals that the Jamaican man may have bragged to his friends. She is indicating to the world that their relationship is not solid. The world will think that her man is either sexually inadequate or financially embarrassed.