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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Thursday, February 5, 2015

Smart Women dating Ghetto Youths

My friends chide me over and over again... " why you like those types is beyond me?" 

I am a smart girl who makes foolish relationship choices. You might not know how much bravado it took me to write this article but my emotions are awok from being in an unhealthy relationship for the last three months. 

Being a child of the Ghetto, having a little education, men from my area often regard me with contempt simply because they say " we big brain girls think we better than them"  that was never the case, I for one simply did not want to end up in the situations of so many of my peers. Young women with several fatherless children bouncing around from man to man was nothing worth aspiring to. I very much connote ghetto youth with recklessness and irresponsiblility.  I steer clear of them as much as I possibly can. I could not risk having a child that a man did not want. I wanted stability, reliance and accountability and young men from my district offered me none. 


But from time to time, a ghetto youth  often attractive, " a little cleaner than the rest" and smarter will come the way of us educated sisters and possibly sweep us off our feet with his rarity. 

We in turn will try and make it work. Investing time and resources in the relationship hoping that our goodness will rub off on him and that he can become someone higher than his status. We nurture, encourage, nag and cajole him about and against the harsh conditions of life among the lower class citizenry. We smart women know that being a young man in the ghetto is no small feat trying to keep him out of trouble and motivate him unto the path of righteousness. 

But dating a ghetto youth comes with headache and frustrations. Ghetto youths don't take talk from women. Smart women want to educate and nurture transcendence in their men for the betterment of the future family structure. But ghetto youths are accustom to dating certain women who never question their integrity, whose notions of relationships are largely superficial and who accept any crap they dish out. A smart woman and a ghetto youth is a disaster waiting to happen. 

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